I now have my entire office obsessively analyzing what animal embodies them best. I am a raccoon, clearly. Big eyes. Bushy tail. Bites when rabid. Kind of a hot mess in that they dig through trash cans.
TWO episodes of street harassment today just between Penn Station and my office which is about five blocks. Normally I see an increase of this when I’m wearing pink or my hair is curly. Neither is true today. What. the. fucking. fuck. WHY IS THIS OKAY?
Guy: *holds door open for me*
Guy: So what’s your name?? You are so beautiful.
Me: *keeps walking*
Guy: C’mon a thanks is all I get? I opened the door for you?
Me: Yes, you opened a door you didn’t save my puppy. Bye.
Guy: Awwwww c’mon. Just a little kiss?
Me: *runs across the street almost getting hit by a car*
Then I get across the street and we have #2. All of this literally between 31st St and 29th St.
Guy: *stops walking directly in front of me and stands with his arms wide open, trying to hug me(???)*
Me: UGHHHHHH *rolls eyes, shakes head, goes around him*
Guy: *runs after me making smoochy noises* *cuts in front of me and actually gets an arm around my back*
Me: DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW - I’m calling the fucking cops. *takes out phone*
Guy: *runs off yelling* STUPID CUNT
Good morning, world. Happy Tuesday to you all…. Hmmph.
The doctor and nurse were professional and kind, and it was clear that they understood our sorrow. They too apologized for what they had to do next. For the third time that day, I exposed my stomach to an ultrasound machine, and we saw images of our sick child forming in blurred outlines on the screen.
“I’m so sorry that I have to do this,” the doctor told us, “but if I don’t, I can lose my license.” Before he could even start to describe our baby, I began to sob until I could barely breathe. Somewhere, a nurse cranked up the volume on a radio, allowing the inane pronouncements of a DJ to dull the doctor’s voice. Still, despite the noise, I heard him. His unwelcome words echoed off sterile walls while I, trapped on a bed, my feet in stirrups, twisted away from his voice.
“I just flew in from Virginia, and boy is my vagina tired! From the involuntary ultrasound wanding — AM I RIGHT, LADIES? (Beat.) And by the way, why do they call it a ‘wand’? Where are we — Hogwarts? The only thing magically disappearing was my dignity and privacy, BOOM!!!
…What’s the difference between a fertilized egg; a corporation; and a woman? (Beat.) One of them isn’t considered a person in Oklahoma! BOOM!!!”—KRISTEN SCHAAL, on The Daily Show (via inothernews)
“What’s said on the campaign trail, you know, those folks don’t have a lot of responsibilities. They’re not commander in chief. And when I see the casualness with which some of these folks talk about war I’m reminded of the costs involved in war. I’m reminded that the decision that I have to make in terms of sending our young men and women into battle and the impact that has on their lives, the impact it has on our national security, the impact it has on our economy. This is not a game. There’s nothing casual about it.”—President Obama (via barackobama)
“To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the fucking club. Everyone — everyone — pays for shit they don’t to (pay for) want all the time. You know what? Reimburse me for the Iraq War and oil subsidies.”—