The senate did NOT celebrate 4:20 this year for two reasons: 1. It would be...– Bill Maher, Real Time - 4/20/12
Realizing 4/20 lands on a Friday
Getting a drunk dial when I've decided to go to...
I read a survey that says college-educated women receive oral sex twice as often...– Making Scenes (via emilybooks) stay in school, kids.
Interviewer: Give us your best tip for overcoming depression.
Stephen Fry: To regard it as being like the weather. It's not your responsibility that it's raining, but it is real when it rains, and the fact that it's raining does not mean that the rain is never going to stop. The only thing to do is to believe that, one day, it won't be raining and accept it so you can find a mental umbrella to shield yourself from the worst. The sun will eventually come up.
When my boyfriend leaves for work
whatshouldwecallme: Him: Me:
Listening to my husband talk to himself as he...
James: Imagine if we just could just show these people the internet?
James: (about christina hendricks) Oh my God. Look at her. Where did they find this woman?
James: Look at the crotch in those pants.
James: Joan looks like a porno Wilma Flintstone.
James: Oh God, Megan's teeth look like Billy Bob teeth, or like Shane McGowan... if Shane McGowan was really pretty and spoke French.
James: I'd screw Joan but I'd have to do it in the winter, because in the summer she'd get all sweaty. That's why her husband won't bring her to Vietnam.
James: What the fuck?
Me: He isn't really doing that. It's a hallucination, trust me. He's sick. I mean, where would Megan be?
James: I don't think I've ever been so sick that I thought I fucked and murdered someone. Ever. I have NEVER been that sick.
Comedians always have the weirdest photo shoots.
Smiling for a picture
whatshouldwecallme: I always think I’m doing this: But it always turns out like: always. always. always.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOMINIQUE-INIQUE-INIQUE! everyone go wish Nikki a happy happy NOW. see these creepy dudes? they were off catching her a present.
me: hey how would you feel about writing a screenplay? about female stoners...